Dreams Die Hard

When I was younger and more of a naif than I am now, if that's possible, I believed in a few silly notions. I thought that while politicians might lie because they had to, that no one would start a war based on a lie. I turned out to be wrong about that.

Now I'm wrong about something else, too. I thought the US actually stood for something other than selfishness. Sure we're a bunch of materialistic buffoons, sometimes, but we're also fundamentally good-hearted and somewhere, deep inside the wallet, have aspirations of creating a government that, imperfect though it must be, at least strives for something other than self-preservation. No more. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea that Americans think it's ok to torture people. When you realize that most of the people in a position to know think that torture is a bad idea, then the little light bulb goes on. This isn't about results, or getting things done; it's just primal fear, and a desire to submit to authority. More fool I, for buying into the silly idea that we aren't as craven as the next country, clutching our possessions while we sell our souls. Maybe we are all just materialists, and that's all there is.

I always wondered what it might be like to live through a dark period in American history. Perhaps I'll live long enough to find out. But that, of course, requires us to come out of it. And maybe that's just another dream.